Blog #4 : Embracing Rain.
I sit out on the front porch and feel the mist of the pouring rain.
Often, when it rains, you hear people say things like “What a crappy day.” At least that’s what my Grandma Izzy used to say every single time it rained. Literally. Like clock work. But I don’t think she truly meant it. I believe she was programmed to think rain = crappy. *May GMA Izzy rest in peace.*
I think we’re all taught in our modern day society to think this about rainy days, and rainy feelings alike. By rainy feelings, I mean the ones we/I don’t often admire or want to feel. The ones we/I run from. You know the ones… shame, guilt, physical pain, fear, confusion, despair, etc.
I told you, you knew them. You might’ve read those words and left this blog because of the negative connotation we have with these “rainy" feelings. If you’re still reading, nice. You might even just be the type of person who can embrace these feelings. Or at least embrace the wet rainy days.
I’m an escape artist. I’ve spent my whole life evading these “rainy” feelings.
If you can resonate, I’m proud of you. Just as I am proud of me. Resonating would mean you admit to yourself that you escape. Most escape artists are so good, that they escape their own self awareness. Trust me, I know because I’m THAT good.
There’s symbolism in embracing rain. Originally when I stepped outside to write this, the mist was tolerable on my covered porch. Now, however, it is a bit less tolerable and thoughts of “let’s finish this inside” come into my head. How can I finish a blog about embracing rain when I’m LITERALLY not willing to do that, even/especially as the rain becomes less tolerable.
I invite the 2 of us - you and me - to sit with this symbolism when the world around you rains on your head (or in my current case, my laptop).
How much longer can I sit? Can I take the emotional turmoil, the conflict with my partner, the confusion on my purpose, the fear around finances? Can I embrace these things and choose to lean in? Can I sit with it and find the lesson, even if I’m digging through dog shit to find it?
Embracing emotion IS embracing manhood. Sitting with discomfort is exactly the makings of a man. Of THIS man.
And so, I take this lesson and I choose to sit, another minute, another day, another week, in the rain. Even if that rain feels more like hurricane. Or if the mist smells less like refreshment and more like poo. I embrace the storm, any storm. And that makes sunny days brighter than ever.
I embrace the storm, ANY storm.
That is masculinity. That is something I’m only just learning. Coming from a life of escape artistry. A life where I pretended to be in the rain but was only willing to very carefully turn on the hose. Hiding from the real rain, the raw power of nature herself.
Letting go of control, while exerting maximum effort. A balanced, present man in the face of the great unknown.
See you soon, brother.
