Blog #2 : A Puppy & his Piss. A Lesson in Patience.
Piss on my shirt and piss on the rug. A great start to my morning.
Riley is a new puppy. I’m not his father, rather his uncle, but he’s mine to watch over during the weekdays.
So… that means I’m not only in charge of taking him out to pee, I’m in charge of playing with him, reading is energy, and disciplining him. No small feat for one who has not raised a puppy.
He’s a doberman. Beautiful, brown coated, rambunctious, pee's 1000 times a day and loves to chew on things with his needle teeth - human toes included.
So back to the start of my day. Piss on my shirt and piss on the rug. A practice in meditation.
In other words, calm comes a lot quicker to those NOT in charge of a baby. Even if it is just a baby dog. I went into his room to get him and bring him out. There he was, cute and calm snuggled against his blanket in the cage, I open the cage, pick him up and take him immediately outside to the piss and shit zone (a part of the yard unmistakable to the nose).
On the way to the zone, Riley let some pee out onto my shirt. The first strike in my frustration meter. He peed again on the grass and we went back inside. I tried to write while he played with his toys but he’d rather bite on my feet. So I took couple minutes to sit on the floor and play with him. Micro bites and micro disciplines, amounting in some more notches on my frustration meter.
Then, I went to bring him outside because I figured he’d enjoy a bit of fresh air and exploring. On the way, he peed on the living room rug. A place that is rapidly becoming piss and shit zone #2. That’s when I had enough. With a bit of anger, I put his face against the pee and gave him a few good bops to the nose. Enough for him to know and FEEL that pee on the rug equals BAD.
Stupidly I didn’t transmute my anger, came outside and tried to write a blog about devotion. A blog I felt really clear about while sipping coffee with the most beautiful woman in the world while discussing what we’re grateful for about one another earlier this morning. A ritual we do every morning over coffee. Now, however, I tried to harness that energy into writing but was blocked by my experiences with Riley.
I did what is necessary when it feels like I’m dragging through mud. I paused.
I closed my laptop and began breathwork. I then got up, mixed breath holds with movement. And after just a few minutes it all clicked.
Calm flushed out my frustration, filling my body with breath and my mind with clarity.
Riley is a puppy. Less than 2 weeks ago he was separated from his mother and siblings (whom he probably bit and played with a lot). He is easily distracted, needs a lot of guidance, and also needs A LOT of attention. All babies do.
Just 5 minutes of breath and movement brought clarity of the whole situation. Which of course meant I could see beyond my frustration, thus separating me from it. Doing that, allowed me to embrace the discipline and attention that Riley needs while also meeting my needs. My needs being calm and centered focus on what’s in front of me. I felt that Riley originally was taking my presence. But it was my lack of presence that made me feel frustrated.
Riley was presenting a teaching in the form of something DEMANDING my presence. My frustration bred out of my unwillingness to be present with him and wanting to rush to my own things. Now, I can meet my needs as I begin my work day, while watching over Riley and meeting his needs in the process. I can discipline him with harnessed frustration, and then let it go before focusing on my other work. I can be fully present with the diverse aspects of my day, not dragging any energetic residue from one thing to the next.
I imagine it’s like this with kids (just wayyyyyyy fucking harder). Dads reading this, shoot me an email or comment on here with some input and drop your fatherly wisdom. Puppy dads too.
So the lesson here for me is simple. And it rings true in every aspect of my life. Emotions are only a problem when I’m not breathing into them, regulating my nervous system, and taking just a few moments to transmute this energy. My emotions are a “problem” when they are consuming and I’m refusing to meet them in the body. When I give them bodily space without spiraling in my story about them, they pass and my body and mind can relax.
The body holds the wisdom. When I get in my body, it knows what to do.
What I do to get in my body may not be what you do. But it may help giving them a try. I LOVE Wim Hof Method breathwork. 30-40 heavy, full and quick breaths followed by a breath hold halfway through your last exhale. Holding it for as long as you can before taking a big recovery inhale and holding for 15 seconds, then coming back to a normal based calming breath. This usually expands my lungs and diaphragm and makes for some really soothing breaths after the hold, and for a deep peaceful silence felt during the hold. I also use physical exertion. Today I did pushups. Any exercise of choice will do. I’m committed to learning and embracing intuitively, more techniques for regulating my nervous system. I’ll share them continuously as I walk this path.
***So I challenge/invite you (and myself of course) to be present with what is in front of you, even and especially if it is bringing on unpleasant emotions. And when the sticky yet inevitable emotions do come, work on bringing presence to your body, and not to the story you tell yourself about the feeling.
The mind tries to make sense of feelings. Transmutation is the result of FEELING them.
The body knows the way. Intuition takes you where the mind can’t.
David J Bokser 10-07-2024
Ps. Riley is a sweetheart. More than just a teacher in patience. He is a blast of dopamine and cuteness every time I see him.
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